King of the Hill

First topic message reminder :

Thought I'd bring this over here from the Earth-Link Forum.

I claim the hill.

Unfortunately, I look up "molester" in the bestiary of mardek, and find out they only drop dark essence. I point this out, and your armor fades away. I then take a pair of toothpicks and stab eyes out.
not yours, the eyes of a giant. I then take the eyes of said giant and crush you with them.


I claim the hill.

I push the eyes back onto you while you're celebrating.


I claim the hill

I Shoot eye goo from my mouth into your eyes, and both of us, equally repulsed, run to the bathroom. However, you take one stall that's out of toilet paper, so you wait for me to get some for you like I said I would.
I do, so we both leave the bathroom, but then I push you over, and you think "Ehhh, let him have the hill for a bit, I'll take it back later anyway."


I claim the hill.

I stab you with a poison stinger (despite it not being a combat object) and you fall over dead due to having critical health and being a water based entity

I claim the hill

I had Autolife on, so I come back to life, and use my metal spoon to beat you to death.


"metal spoon" here being slang for a series of several, ridiculously powerful sword combos.


I claim the hill.

I use curse so that you can't use autolife and stab you with a xantarian sword (despite being a scimitar) and you fall over, wielding a desert eagle. You begin firing, I ricochet the bullets off the sword repeatedly until the gun goes *click* and throw the sun at you

I claim the hill

I had merely cast an illusion, given that Autolife is at best a status effect, and not a skill to use, and I throw the moon at you.


I claim the hill

I slap you with a rubber chicken. You are so shocked you trip and fall down the hill. Someone video tapes it and... Wait...


I claim the hill

I use my rippling muscles to bounce you off of my chest.


I claim the hill.

I throw earth at you, it crushes your legs as it flies seemingly "upward"

I claim the hill

I dodge.


I claim the hill

I backstab you



I claim the hill

@nut column

You manage to dodge the earth, unfortunately the velocity required to dodge a planet which you are standing on sends you flying into alpha centuri

I claim the hill

@agentaaa

You accidentally miss and backstab yourself

I claim the hill

Due to claiming the hill twice, you realize you have a clone. after a brief fight, you realize this isn't so bad, and the two of you, who have a lot of common, Decide to watch the newest movie, which you both like, together, so you can share the popcorn so it isn't so overpriced.


While you're out, I claim the hill.

We return to the hill, with shotguns and explode your head

We claim the hill

Unbeknowest to you, I left a throng of spike traps near the hill, covering 10 miles all around, which come up at diagonal angles, and go up for 1 mile.
You get stabbed to death, whereas your clone only gets stabbed and given a mortal wound, which he later dies from.



I claim the hill.

I walk out of a barracks and see myself standing in front of me, I think this is odd and proceed to mind control you into taking the hill for me

We claim the hill

unfortunately, I have no mind to control, and therefore was pretending the entire time. however, I did remember to let out the attack dogs...


I claim the hill.

The tanya that came from the allied base I captured took care of the attack dogs, she then shoots your head while yelling "SHAKE IT BABAY!"

I claim the hill

little did you know, that tanya was a spy, and they were dummy bullets. the spy then shoots you with a golden bullet, and kills you.



I claim the hill, and make a drum out of your ribcage.

Spies don't have guns, and your attack dogs killed him so then I mind control a mirage tank and it kills everything in sight (except for us, for we are many)

We claim the hill

I dodge. I then shoot you with a minigun, followed by a rocket launcher, followed by a chem sprayer, followed by throwing grenades, followed by using dual pistols.


I claim the hill.

I dodge

I claim the hill

I dodge way more



I claim the hill

I Dodge the Most!


I claim the hill